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Schivmeister is a term given to one who has mastered the disease of Super Chronic HIV, i.e "immune to it after many death matches, i.e 'Gottt' or 'Goddd'". HIV is a non-recursive acronym for Highly Intensive Verbosity, while meister is a German way of saying "kiss my arsch". As such, someone with this title is, should, and must, be feared for he is someone you are likely to kiss the butt of because he says so (remember, Schivmeister means "I'm immune to SCHIV so kiss my arsch!").

SCHIV, by itself, is a derivative of the Euclidean problem of not knowing how many prime numbers there are, or in fact, whether two is really a prime number (remember, it is 1+1=11, not 2). Modern computers are the worst machines ever made that can produce the worst results of Primality Determination. As you may or may not know, human beings and apes alike are prime, but every 2,3,5,7,11..n of us are not prime (like retards, for example). Abacusi are the only tools that provide the most accurate of answers with regards to this problem, and in this article, we discuss how YOU can install, run and troubleshoot abacusi, thus becoming a worthy disciple of the one and only meister.

Getting Started

First, make sure you exist:

killall -9 me

If you get

me: no monkey killed

That means you must thank gottt (or as mentioned, goddd; it's like how you can call Persia "Iran" or Iran "Persia"). Now install:

 pacHEman -Syu ichmaggrossearschbacken 

Then, make sure you're sane

chmod 999 me

and finally you can submit to goddd.

chown schiv me


Do not be foolish.


  • This is a joke
  • This is not a joke
  • Take it seriously
  • Do not take it seriously
  • This is not aiding Arch Linux in any way
  • This is aiding Arch Linux in every way